I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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