If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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