my sisters under your porch take her home
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
Is Oprah even human
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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