Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
