Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
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