Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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