Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
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