Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize