He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
