I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
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