did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
