You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
Randomize