He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
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