I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
