Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize
