oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize