got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize