I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
Randomize
