The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
