Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
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