Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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