Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
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