I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Randomize
