I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Randomize
