let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
Randomize
