good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
no, he came in my armpit
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
