you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Randomize
