Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
Randomize
