I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
