Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
This couple is walking their pig around campus
Randomize
