those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
