She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
