I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
Randomize
