My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
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