I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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