If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
I think I have vodka in my lungs
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
