Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
Randomize
