Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
and she was petting her beer can
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
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