I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Randomize
