I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
Randomize
