spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
Randomize
