Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
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