i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize
