That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
Randomize
