i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Randomize
