That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
