Your face is a jimmy john
I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
