I met the friendliest cop last night
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
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