Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
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