Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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