Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
