I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
Randomize
