i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize
