The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
Randomize
