you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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