it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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