Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
Randomize
