Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
Is it because I queefed?
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
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