ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
