Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
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