are you still at the devil's house?
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
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