absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Randomize
