You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
