He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
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