found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Randomize
