So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Randomize
