In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Randomize
