This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
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