when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
Come share oat with me in your robe
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
